It’s four o’clock in the morning, three days before the first major dahlia show of the season - the National Show at London. The wife wakens me to say that a warning light is flashing on my sophisticated pre-advanced weather analysis system, which I installed at the beginning of the season. The computer print-out indicates that rain is due in the area within the hour. No problem! From the bedroom window I can use a remote control pad to operate the over-head covers which automatically expands to completely cover the 1,000 dahlia plants (all giants) in my back garden. When high winds are forecast another button operates the side covers to prevent buffeting.
The Tuesday before the London National Show and the blooms are perfect. Specially designed containers are used to transport the blooms. With built-in thermometers, mist systems and anti-shudder roll bars fitted, it is the ultimate system for transporting blooms in water. The blooms are cut as darkness falls, each being positioned in individual holders. An overnight bag is quickly packed and the blooms are taken the short distance to Cumbernauld Airport, where the Monklands Dahlia Society have chartered a plane to convey their blooms, first class to Heathrow. With the blooms safely in situ in the under-carriage, the Monklands contingent enjoy a light supper during the 50 minute flight, while discussing their tactics to defeat the mighty Midlands Dahlia Society.
On arrival at Westminster Halls the blooms are examined and found to be in mint condition, giving an endless supply of top quality blooms to choose from. Other exhibitors gaze in awe, whilst some actually leave with their stuff and head for a nearby Church Show. With the exhibits staged we retire to our digs at the Hilton International Hotel.
We return the next day to find Monklands have won the Inter-Society Class with 98 points, 30 points clear of their nearest challengers. It seems that two points were deducted for poor spelling on the name-cards (Bob Fulton is sacked on the spot as staging manager). In the giant decorative classes, there has been a complete ‘annihilation’, with the ‘Barnes’ Trophy; the Maurice Lord Trophy and the Drayson for Best Giant Bloom in Show all awarded to John Jack, from Airdrie.
The Best Giant Bloom was Zorro - a variety once committed to Dartmoor State Mental Hospital for ‘losing the heid’. Derek Hewlett, the past master of giant decoratives, approaches and asks for an autograph together with a few hints.
The following week is the Scottish National at Stirling. By this time the other classifications which I grow in a nearby coup (Coatbridge) are coming into full flush. As well as entering all the giant classes I can also exhibit in every Championship class. David Boyd has to attend at the D.S.S. for a crisis loan because his prize money this year is almost nil, as J.J. scoops all the trophies and major awards. The Stirling Trophy is awarded to the exhibit of giant decoratives which includes my new red and white seedling named ‘Ace of Diamonds’, every bit as good as the team it was named after.
Unfortunately. I cannot attend the second day of the show at Stirling. Airdrie are due to play A.C. Milan in Italy in the second leg of the European Cup semi-final having thrashed the Italian champions 5-0 in the first leg.
As the show season progresses, the blooms just seem to get bigger and better. Up and down the country I added to my collection of Red Cards; Trophies and Rosettes. The next stop is Harrogate. In an effort to regain his glory days David Boyd exhibits in the Novice Section under an assumed name (‘Spencer’). Ian Hill, winner of previous giant classes was last seen ‘dressing’ a bloom of Lula Patti and entering it as a Jap in the chrysanthemum section, whilst Frank Newbery’s Poms suddenly appear in the Floral Art Section.
By this time my reputation is known worldwide. The National Dahlia Society hold an Extra-Ordinary General Meeting and create a third National Show, to be held on the same day as Airdrie take on their arch rivals Albion Rovers, knowing full well that J.J. will not be able to exhibit that day.
Just like Airdrie I go on to win every domestic and National Trophy available in one season, and I receive International recognition. Awards and accolades come in from all over the world and include the Nobel Dahlia Prize; Dinner with the President of America; a date with Kim Basinger; and being made a Life Member of N.U.P.E. (National Union of Perfect Exhibitors). I even get my photograph on the front page of the Airdrie and Coatbridge Advertiser.
At the end of the show season, an invitation arrives from Buckingham Palace, when I receive the Queen’s Medal awarded for ‘Bravery in the field of dahlia exhibiting’.
Suddenly the six o’clock alarm goes off. The snow has
been falling all night. Down beside the bed lies dahlia books;
photographs and old prize cards.. . . I must have had too much
to dream last night zzzzzzzzzzzzz.