For the first time in many years I have to report from enemy
lines that the Tartan Army had a bad year in England in 1997.
Most of OOR Troops had planned to have their blooms early with
the intention of marching to Westminster to gub the Sassenachs
at the London National. The National Dahlia Society obviously
heard that we were coming and asked the London Polis to cancel
the show. The fact that they were closing London down in the aftermath
of the tragic death of Diana, Princess of Wales, may have had
something to do with it but I am not so sure.
Later in the same week we re-grouped and once again marched south led by Jock Jack, Earl of Airdrie, ably assisted by King Thomas of Pettinain who had assembled an army of commoners. Just south of Hadrian’s Wall they were joined by the mighty army from Perth under the misguidance of the Earl of Sutherland accompanied by an assortment of haggis bashers fae Fife. They stopped at a Little Chef near Scots Corner as Jockie Jack felt that we couldnae tackle the English on an empty stomach.
After the traditional meal of brose and black pudding washed doon wi, some soor mulk the Scots jogged through the night intending to catch the Sassenachs early in the morning before they were right awake. Alas luck was not on our side and the Northern Committee of the National Dahlia Society under the leadership of “Slim” Tomlinson had assembled a mighty army of English Nobles to set about the Scots and send them homeward to think again. Despite doing battle on several fronts no victories were recorded by the Scots. The cry from our leader rang out through the hall “ Run like Hell and re-group in the bar
After consuming copious amounts of our National drink we decided after all that we had enjoyed a very good time and that we did not mind at all being defeated by these nice English chappies. After all were the Olympic Games not started with that old adage that it is more important to take part than to win. Will we be back for more of the same in 1998. Ah cannae wait. GET INTAETHEM.